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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Bob Bryenton who wrote (5516)	5/8/1998 1:10:00 AM
From: Gary H	Respond to of 62549

"The BIG Question" > > > >Jane was a first time contestant on the $65,000 quiz show > > > >Lady luck had smiled in her favor, as Jane had a gained substantial lead > >over her opponents. She even managed to win the game but, unfortunately, > >time had run out before the show's emcee could ask her "The BIG Question. > >Needless to say, Jane agreed to return the following day. Jane was > nervous > >and fidgety as her husband drove them home. "I've just gotta win > tomorrow. > >I wish I knew what the answers are. You know I'm not going to sleep at > all > >tonight. I will probably look like hell tomorrow." "Relax, honey," her > >husband, Roger, reassured her, "It will all be OK." Ten minutes after > they > >arrived home, Roger grabbed the car keys and started heading out the > door. > >"Where are you going?" Jane asked. "I have a little errand to run. I > >should be back soon." He replied. Jane waited impatiently for Roger's > >return. After an agonizing 3 hour absence, Roger returned, sporting a > very > >wide and wicked grin. > > > >"Honey, I managed to get tomorrow's question and answer!" "What is it?" > she > >cried excitedly. "OK. The question is 'What are the three main parts of > the > >male anatomy?' And the answer is 'The head, the heart, and the penis.' > " > > > >Shortly after that, the couple went to sleep with Jane, now feeling > >confident and at ease, plummeting into a deep and restful slumber. At > >3:30 in the morning, however, Jane was shaken awake by Roger, who was > asking > >her the quiz show question. "The head, the heart, and the penis," Jane > >replied groggily before returning to sleep. And Roger asked her again in > >the morning, this time as Jane was brushing her teeth. Once again, Jane > >replied correctly. So it was that Jane was once again on the set of > the > >quiz show. Even though she knew the question and answer, she could feel > the > >butterflies conquering her stomach and nervousness running through her > >veins. The cameras began running and the emcee, after reminding the > >audience of the previous days' events, faced Jane and asked "The BIG > >Question". "Jane, for $65,000, what are the main parts of the male > anatomy? > >You have 10 seconds." > >"Hmm, uhn, the head?" she said nervously. "Very good. Six seconds." > >"Eeh, uh, the heart?" "Very good! Four seconds." "I, uhh, ooooooohh, > >darn! My husband drilled it into me last night and I had it on the tip > of > >my tongue this morning..." "That's close enough, CONGRATULATIONS!!"

To: Bob Bryenton who wrote (5516)	5/8/1998 1:13:00 AM
From: Gary H	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

A primary school teacher took her class, including little David, on a trip to a working farm. That evening David's mother asked him if he had enjoyed the trip. "Yes it was great - we saw sheep, horses, goats, and fuckers." His mother, shocked, asked "er, fine, fine. I know what the sheep and the rest are but what is a fucker?" David replied "Oh, they're the animals that give us milk" "but who said they were called, er, fuckers?" David: "that was our teacher. Well actually she called them "effers," but we all knew what she meant."