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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Mr Bond who wrote (5577)	5/15/1998 5:09:00 PM
From: Thomas Scharf	Respond to of 62547

A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. On sundown of third day, you die. What is first wish?" The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse." The Indians get his horse. The cowboy grabs the horse's ear and whispers something, then slaps the horse on the ass. The horse takes off. Two hours later, it's back with a blonde woman. She jumps off the horse and goes into the teepee with the cowboy. The Indians shrug at each other, figuring, typical white man--gonna die and can only think of one thing. The second day, the chief says, "What your wish today?" Cowboy says, "I want to see my horse again." The Indians bring him his horse. The cowboy leans over to the horse and whispers something in the horses ear, then slaps it on the ass. Two hours later, the horse comes back with a redhead. She gets off and goes in the teepee with the cowboy. The Indians shake their heads, figuring, typical white man--going to die tomorrow and only think of one thing. Last day comes. Chief says, "This your last wish, white man. What you want?" Cowboy says, "I want to see my horse again." The indians bring him his horse. The cowboy grabs the horse by both ears, twists them hard and yells, "Read my lips! Posse, goddamn it! P-O-S-S-E !!!!

To: Mr Bond who wrote (5577)	5/15/1998 7:44:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62547

The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day he was walking down Main Street and he happened to notice a female member of his congregation sitting in the town bar, drinking beer. The reverend thought this was sinful and not something a member of his congregation should do, so he walked through the open door of the bar and sat down next to the woman. "Mrs. Fitzgerald," the reverend said sternly. "This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don't you let me take you home?" "Sure," she said with a slur, obviously very drunk. When Mrs. Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth. The reverend realized that she had had to much to drink and he grabbed hold of her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor. After rolling around for a few seconds, the reverend wound up lying on top of Mrs. Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist. The bartender looked over the bar and said, "Here, here, buddy, we won't have any of that carrying on in this bar!" The reverend looked up at the bartender and said, "But you don't understand, I'm Pastor Fuzz." The bartender nodded, "Hell then, if you're that far in you might as well finish up." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The blind date hadn't been all that great and she was relieved the evening was finally over. At her apartment door, he suddenly said "Hey! You wanna see my underwear?" Before she could respond, he had dropped his pants, right there in the hall, revealing that he wasn't wearing any. She glanced down and said, "Nice design, does it also come in men's sizes ? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra? A. When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.