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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Garfield who wrote (5596)	5/20/1998 8:54:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62552

Mrs. Perkins was talking to her hair stylist. "It's silly," she said, "but my daughter has some sort of crazy idea about losing her hair." "What do you mean?" the beautician asked. "Well, I overheard her on the phone the other day telling her best friend that she hoped she'd be bald soon." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: What is the difference between your wife and the washing machine? A:You don't have to hug the washing machine after you drop a load in it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There were two guys on a motorcycle driving down the road. The driver was wearing a leather jacket that didn't have a zipper Or any buttons. Finally he stopped the bike and told the other guy,"I can't drive anymore with the air hitting me in my chest." After thinking for a while he decided to put the coat on backwards to block the air from hitting him. So they were driving down the road and they came around this curb and wrecked. The farmer that lived there called the police and told them what happened. The police asked him,"are either of them showing any life signs?" The farmer then said, "well, that first one was 'til I turned his head around the right way." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A couple of drinking buddies, who are airplane mechanics, are in a hanger in New York Airport; it's fogged in and they have nothing to do. One of them says to the other "Man, have you got anything to drink?" "Nah, but hear you can drink jet fuel - that'll kinda give you a buzz." So they do, get smashed and have a beautiful time; like only drinking' buddies can. The following morning, one of them wakes up and he knows his head will explode if he gets up. But it doesn't. He gets up and feels good, in fact he feels great - NO hangover! The phone rings, it's his buddy. The Buddy says "Hey, how do you feel?" He said, "I feel great!!, and the buddy says, "I feel great too! You don't have a hangover?" and he says "No - that jet fuel is great stuff - no hangover - we ought to do this more often" "Yeah, we could, but there's just one thing..." "What's that?" "Did you fart yet?" "What?" "Did you FART yet?" "No..." "Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in Phoenix!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A young girl goes to her doctor very embarrassed with a problem downstairs! after a lot of persuasion the doctor finally gets her to remove her knickers which reveals that the girl has three vaginas!!! One on the left one as usual in the middle and one to the right. The doctor is very perplexed and scratches his head muttering things under his breathe and disappears into the pharmacy next door. He comes back a few minutes later and opens up a pack of waterproof plasters. He takes two plasters out and places one over the right hand side vagina and the other over the left hand sided vagina. The young girl asks the doctor "will this cure me doctor"? The doctor replies, "No, but it will stop you getting fucked left, right and center". -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Effective Immediately, the patient must be warned that they must swallow the pill very quickly or risk having a hard-extended tongue for 6 hours.