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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: dfloydr who wrote (5611)	5/22/1998 8:46:00 AM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.	Respond to of 62552

I guess you did not read Tinman's or xdll's replies b4 you answered me. Sometimes late when things are real and people share the gift of gab between themselves Some are quick to take the bait and catch the perfect prize that waits among the shells but Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man That he didn't, didn't already have and Cause never was the reason for the evening or the tropic of Sir Galahad So please Believe in me When I say I'm spinning round, ruond, ruond, tround Smoke glass stained bright colors Image going down, down, down, down soapsud green like bubbles Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man That he didn't, didn't already have and Cause never was the reason for the evening or the tropic of Sir Galahad So please believe in me When I say I'm spinning round, ruond, ruond, tround Smoke glass stained bright colors Image going down, down, down, down soapsud green like bubbles No, Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man That he didn't, didn't already have and Cause never was the reason for the evening or the tropic of Sir Galahad So please believe in me

To: dfloydr who wrote (5611)	5/22/1998 11:22:00 AM
From: The Rabbit	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62552

I'm no medical expert, but I would imagine that one would probably not wake up from an extended sleep in a bathtub full of ice, either, kidneys or no. Obligatory jokes: ================== Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?" ================== Abbot and Costello Meet Windows 95 Costello: Hey, Abbot! Abbot: Yes, Lou? Costello: I just got my first computer. Abbot: That's great Lou. What did you get? Costello: A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2.1 Gig hard drive, and a 24X CD-ROM. Abbot: That's terrific, Lou. Costello: But I don't know what any of it means! Abbot: You will in time. Costello: That's exactly why I am here to see you. Abbot: Oh? Costello: I heard that you are a real computer expert. Abbot: Well, I don't know- Costello: Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you're going to train me. Abbot: Really? Costello: Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson. Abbot: O.K. Lou. What do want to know? Costello: I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off. Abbot: That's true. Costello: So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do? Abbot: Well, first you press the Start button, and then- Costello: No, I told you, I want to turn it off. Abbot: I know, you press the Start button- Costello: Wait a second. I want to turn it Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do. Abbot: I did. Costello: When? Abbot: When I told you to press the Start button. Costello: Why should I press the Start button? Abbot: To shut off the computer. Costello: I press Start to stop. Abbot: Well Start doesn't actually stop the computer. Costello: I knew it! So what do I press? Abbot: Start. Costello: Start what? Abbot: Start button. Costello: Start button to do what? Abbot: Shut down. Costello: You don't have to get rude! Abbot: No, no, no! That's not what I meant. Costello: Then say what you mean. Abbot: To shut down the computer, press- Costello: Don't say, "Start!" Abbot: Then what do you want me to say? Costello: Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button, the End button and Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop. Abbot: But that's what you do. Costello: And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights. Abbot: Don't be ridiculous. Costello: I'm being ridiculous? Well. I think it's about time we started this conversation. Abbot: What are you talking about? Costello: I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.