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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jack Clarke who wrote (22341)	5/28/1998 11:21:00 AM
From: Lady Lurksalot	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 108807

Jack, All, Here goes another radical concept: How about we encourage people to postpone having children until they are personally able to properly provide for them physically, emotionally, and financially? Holly

To: Jack Clarke who wrote (22341)	5/28/1998 9:26:00 PM
From: Grainne	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

Sorry, Jack!!! I did not really mean to bring up an incredibly complex issue. What I was talking about was specifically that in the eighties, I remember that mothers of very small children did not have to work if they were on welfare. In fact, a few mothers (the ones I knew who did this were white and middle class single mothers) deliberately went on welfare so they could stay home and nurture their children. I don't know when this changed. It seemed unfair, considering that a lot of other mothers just accepted that they had to work, and got on with it as best they could. As I said before, though, it is a moot point now that welfare is ending. I do think it is fair to point out that we have the stingiest maternity benefits of any western nation. Most European countries have paid maternity leaves, and they last considerably longer than ours, because these societies recognize that when parents and infants do not have the opportunity to bond, there is a much larger social cost later. When I first had a baby I was really surprised that she just very naturally fit against my body, and really cleaved to me, but cried if her father held her. It seemed very instinctual. She learned to love being held by my husband, but it took some work, and time. I have no problem agreeing with you that if the mother is reasonably emotionally healthy and willing, she is the most logical person to provide primary care for an infant or young child. As far as teenage mothers go, the long term benefit to mother and child is enormous if the mother stays in school. So I think that the school districts who have accommodated these students with continuation programs on campuses where their children are in quality day care, and the mothers spend time with their babies during breaks, hopefully nursing them as well, and also taking parenting classes, offer about the best short-term solution to the problem. It is slightly encouraging that the teenage pregnancy rate is beginning to drop slightly, isn't it?