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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: MENSO who wrote (5712)	6/3/1998 12:39:00 AM
From: Jack Colton	Respond to of 62552

A lady came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem: "I fart all the time, Doctor Lamb, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?" "Here's a prescription, Mrs. Jacobs. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week." The next week, an upset Mrs. Jacobs marched into Dr. Lamb's office: "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, and they're still soundless, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?" "Calm down, Mrs. Jacobs," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing."

To: MENSO who wrote (5712)	6/3/1998 12:40:00 AM
From: Jack Colton	Respond to of 62552

There. # 400 A teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Mary said, "My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating." The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted the word "'fascinate.'" Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to the Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I was fascinated." The teacher said, "Good, but I wanted the word 'fascinate.'" Little Billy raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because Billy was noted for is bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate" so she called on him. Billy said, "My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten 8."