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Pastimes : Thread Morons -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Phil(bullrider) who wrote (1220)	6/5/1998 12:55:00 AM
From: X Y Zebra	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 12810

......On the other hand.... Re: "Penice" Perhaps the moron nominee, has been participating in the following chain letter, and knowing that the use of the "spelchecker" is irrelevant, he probably simply "misspelled it".... Once you read the chain letter, misspelling would be the least of your worries..... I found this: The Moron "Chain Letter" ----------------------------------------------------- Hi everyone! About six months ago I received the enclosed post in letter form. I ignored it. I received about five more of the same letter within the next two weeks. I ignored them also. Of course, I was tempted to follow through and dreamed of making thousands of inches, but I was convinced it was just another gimmick and could not possibly work. I was wrong! About three weeks later I saw this same letter posted on a local bulletin board in Sydney. I liked the idea of giving it a try with my computer. I didn't expect much because I figured, if other people were as skeptical as I, they wouldn't be too quick to part with their penis. But, I buy lottery tickets weekly in my province and have nothing to show for it but ticket stubs. This week I decided to look at this as my weekly lottery purchase. I addressed the envelopes and mailed out one piece of my penis in each as directed. Two weeks went by and I didn't receive anything in the mail. The fourth week rolled around and I couldn't believe what happened! I can't say I received 50,000 inches, but it was definitely well over 35,000! For the first time in all my years, I was adequately endowed. It was great. Of course, it didn't take me long to feel inadequate again so I am using this excellent penis enlargement opportunity once again. Follow the instructions and get ready to enjoy. Please send a copy of this letter along with the enclosed letter so together we can convince people who are skeptical that it really works! Good Luck, Insert here the writer's name....[Bateman] -/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- INSTRUCTIONS Follow these instructions EXACTLY, and in 20 to 60 days you will have received well over 50,000 inches of penis, all yours. This program has remained successful because of the inadequacy and vanity of the participants. Please continue its success by carefully adhering to the instructions. Welcome to the world of Mail Order Penis Enlargement! This little business is a little different than most cosmetic surgery. Your product is not solid (sic) and tangible, but rather a service. You are in the business of extending penii. Many small of endowment are happy to pay big bucks for this service. (The money made from the penis enlargement is secondary to the income which is made from people like yourself requesting that they be included in that list.) 1. Immediately cut off your penis at the base. 2. Cut off the head of your penis, and pack it in ice. 3. Take the remaining midsection of your penis, and cut it into 5 pieces of equal length. 4. Immediately mail each piece to the first 5 names listed below starting at number 1 through number 5. Send penis only please (total investment your penis). Enclose a note with each piece stating: "Please add my name to your mailing list." (This is a legitimate service that you.are requesting and you are paying your penis.for this service). 5. Remove the name that appears number 1 on the list. Move the other 9 names up one position. (Number 2 will become number 1 and number 3 will become number 2, etc.) Place your name, address and zip code in the number 10 position. 6. Post the new letter with your name in the number 10 position into 10 (Ten) separate bulletin boards in the message base or to the file section, call the file, MAKE. PENIS. FAST. 7. Within 60 days you will receive over 50,000 inches of PENIS. Keep a copy of this file for yourself so that you can use it again and again whenever you need penis enlargement. As soon as you mail out these letters you are automatically in the mail order business and people are sending you their penis to be placed on your mailing list. This list can then be rented to a reconstructive cosmetic surgeon that can be found in the Yellow Pages for additional income on a regular basis. The list will become more valuable as it grows in size. This is a service. This is perfectly legal. If you have any doubts, refer to Title 18, Sec. 1302 & 1341 of the postal lottery laws. NOTE: Make sure you retain EVERY Name and Address sent to you, either on computer or hard copy, but do not discard the names and notes they send you. This is PROOF that you are truly providing a service and should the AMA, FDA, or some other Government Agency question you, you can provide them with this proof! Remember as each post is downloaded and the instructions carefully followed, five members will be reimbursed for their participation as a Penis Enlarger with one inch of penis each. Your name will move up the list geometrically so that when your name reaches the number five position you will be receiving thousands of inches in penis. ------------------------------------------------end of copy---------- wow...... This would be ideal for a penny [story] stock!! With Bateman as PR man...... And of course, the proverbial disclaimer, [given the fact that there may be some morons out there, that may actually believe the above: I did not write, the above, and the whole thing is intended to be a joke, if you consider yourself capable of performing the above, you do so at your entire risk, and knowingly so that you are one big idiotic moron. I am not responsible for any actions as a result of the above text. Anyone foolish enough to do take any action, does so under his/her own responsibility end.