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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Henry Volquardsen who wrote (5777)	6/9/1998 10:02:00 AM
From: Henry Volquardsen	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

THE BOARD OF HEALTH HAS PROPOSED THAT WARNING SIGNS BE PLACED ON LIQUOR BOTTLES TO WARN DRINKERS ABOUT THE HAZARDS OF OVER-INDULGENCE. 1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole. 2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN. 3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. 4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. 5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants. 6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember). 7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. 8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck. 9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you're invisible. 10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

To: Henry Volquardsen who wrote (5777)	6/9/1998 10:04:00 AM
From: Jack Colton	Respond to of 62549

>From the CNN Website - cnn.com Content-Length: 1407 Antler blood an aphrodisiac for Kazakhstan men July 9, 1996 Web posted at: 9:00 a.m. EDT (1300 GMT) AKMARAL, Kazakhstan (Reuters) -- Women in the village of Akmaral in eastern Kazakhstan flee their homes in panic in early July while their men start sawing the horns off stags. Russians and Kazakhs living in this remote village in the foothills of the Altai mountain range believe drinking the blood from newly-shorn antlers will improve their sexual potency, a practice which began in the last century. The drug pantocrin, extracted from dried antlers, is believed to improve the immune system in general and libido in particular. Traders from Korea and China import dried antlers, costing as much as $1,000 (U.S.) per kilogram, from eastern Kazakhstan to extract the drug. Workers from the collective farm "Chernovoi" in Akmaral begin sawing off the antlers in early July after forcing the stags into pens. Freshly cut antlers are then boiled down and dried until early October when they are sold. "When they cut the antlers, they are capable of anything," says Daria Tleubayeva, 45, cook at the local sanatorium. "All women in the village pack their stuff and go to their relatives." Men in the village could only manage a shy smile when asked what happens to them when they've drunk stag's blood. Copyright 1996 Reuters Limited. All rights reserved. Copyright + 1996 Cable News Network, Inc.