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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Calvin Scott who wrote (5808)	6/10/1998 7:47:00 PM
From: emidio	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

>> From: Mark Tipping >> Sent: 08 June 1998 12:34 >> To: court postoffice; pepper rd postoffice >> Dear All >> >> This was sent to me by a friend who works for the Government.....on >> "unspecified" projects! >> >> It was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website by > >> an employee with a sense of humour. The company, of course, does not have > >> a sense of humour, and made the web department take it down immediately. >> >> Mark. >> >> --------------------------------------------------------- >> >> Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. >> >> In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to >> fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey >> questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop >> new products that best meet your needs and desires. >> >> 1. Salutation? >> [_] Mr. >> [_] Mrs. >> [_] Ms. >> [_] Miss >> [_] Lt. >> [_] Gen. >> [_] Comrade >> [_] Classified >> [_] Other >> >> First Name: ..................................................... >> Initial: ........ >> Last Name: ...................................................... >> Password: .............................. (max 8 char) >> Code Name: ...................................................... >> Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ........... .......... >> >> 2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase? >> [_] F-14 Tomcat >> [_] F-15 Eagle >> [_] F-16 Falcon >> [_] F-117A Stealth >> [_] Classified >> >> 3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19....... / ....... /...... >> >> 4. Serial Number: ................................................ >> >> 5. Please check where this product was purchased: >> [_] Received as gift / aid package >> [_] Catalogue showroom >> [_] Independent arms broker >> [_] Mail order >> [_] Discount store >> [_] Government surplus >> [_] Classified >> >> 6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you > >> have just purchased: >> [_] Heard loud noise, looked up >> [_] Store display >> [_] Espionage >> [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally >> [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer >> [_] Was attacked by one >> >> 7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision > >> to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product: >> >> [_] Style / appearance >> [_] Speed / manoeuvrability >> [_] Price / value >> [_] Comfort / convenience >> [_] Kickback / bribe >> [_] Recommended by salesperson >> [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation >> [_] Advanced Weapons Systems >> [_] Backroom politics >> [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat >> >> 8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used: >> [_] North America >> [_] Iraq >> [_] Central / South America >> [_] Iraq >> [_] Aircraft carrier >> [_] Iraq >> [_] Europe >> [_] Iraq >> [_] Middle East (not Iraq) >> [_] Iraq >> [_] Africa >> [_] Iraq >> [_] Asia / Far East >> [_] Iraq >> [_] Misc. Third World countries >> [_] Iraq >> [_] Classified >> [_] Iraq >> >> 9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase > >> in the near future: >> [_] Colour TV >> [_] VCR >> [_] ICBM >> [_] Killer Satellite >> [_] CD Player >> [_] Air-to-Air Missiles >> [_] Space Shuttle >> [_] Home Computer >> [_] Nuclear Weapon >> >> 10. How would you describe yourself or your organisation? (Check all that > >> apply): >> [_] Communist / Socialist >> [_] Terrorist >> [_] Crazed >> [_] Neutral >> [_] Democratic >> [_] Dictatorship >> [_] Corrupt >> [_] Primitive / Tribal >> >> 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product? >> [_] Deficit spending >> [_] Cash >> [_] Suitcases of cocaine >> [_] Oil revenues >> [_] Personal check >> [_] Credit card >> [_] Ransom money >> [_] Traveller's check >> >> 12. Your occupation: >> [_] Homemaker >> [_] Sales / marketing >> [_] Revolutionary >> [_] Clerical >> [_] Mercenary >> [_] Tyrant >> [_] Middle management >> [_] Eccentric billionaire >> [_] Defence Minister / General >> [_] Retired >> [_] Student >> >> 13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the > >> interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating > >> on a regular basis: >> [_] Golf >> [_] Boating / sailing >> [_] Sabotage >> [_] Running / jogging >> [_] Propaganda / disinformation >> [_] Destabilisation / overthrow >> [_] Default on loans >> [_] Gardening >> [_] Crafts >> [_] Black market / smuggling >> [_] Collectibles / collections >> [_] Watching sports on TV >> [_] Wines >> [_] Interrogation / torture >> [_] Household pets >> [_] Crushing rebellions >> [_] Espionage / reconnaissance >> [_] Fashion clothing >> [_] Border disputes >> [_] Mutually Assured Destruction >> >> Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your >> answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas > >> serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive >> mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist > >> groups, and mysterious consortia. >> >> As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a > >> brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes! >> >> Do you have any further comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? > >> Please write to: >> >> McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION >> Marketing Department >> Military Aerospace Division >> Washington DC >> >