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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (5875)	6/19/1998 10:10:00 AM
From: Henry Volquardsen	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62567

Real Stories of the Technologically Challenged I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip back into itself and for the life of them could not understand why their computer would not turn on. ========================================== 1st Person: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?" 2nd Person: "A little. What's wrong?" 1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened." 2nd Person: "How did you load the sheet?" 1st Person: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient would open it and read it." ========================================== I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery in this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery for this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote 'thing,'" she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Now you can drive over there and check about the batteries." ========================================== Tech Support: "What does the screen say now." Person: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'." Tech Support: "Well?" Person: "How am I supposed to know when it's ready?" ========================================== My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change their address from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call asked where Vermont was. As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said,"Look, I'm not stupid or anything, but what state is it in?" ========================================== One of our servers crashed. I was watching our new system administrator trying to restore it. He inserted a CD and needed to type a path name to a directory named "i386." He started to type it and paused, asking me, "Where's the key for that line thing?" I asked what he was talking about, and he said, "You know, that one that looks like an upside-down exclamation mark." I replied, "You mean the letter "i"?" ========================================== This person had a broken lamp which he wanted to discard. Unfortunately, the power cord ran under his refrigerator, making it impossible to move the lamp while the cord was attached. He decided to cut the cord, since the lamp was unusable anyway. He didn't remember to unplug it first. I found him in the hallway throwing up. ========================================== I was in a car dealership a while ago when a Winnebago motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the cruise control, then went in back to make a sandwich. ========================================== I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?" ========================================== I rented a movie from Blockbuster. Before the movie begins a message comes on the screen saying, "This movie has been altered to fit your television screen." Comment from member: "How do they know what size screen I have?" ========================================== This one's great!..... Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," she told him. With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.