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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (5879)	6/19/1998 11:55:00 AM
From: Bob Bryenton	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62569

Name Your Own Kids ... A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless world-class practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was and his brother replied, "Don't worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter. But the hospital was in a real hurry to get the birth certificates filed and since both you and your wife were unconscious, I named them for you." The husband was thinking to himself, "Oh no, what has he done now? and said with trepidation, "Well what did you name them?" The brother replied, "I named the little girl Denise." The husband, relieved, said, "That's a very pretty name! What did you come up with for my son?" The brother replied, "Denephew.

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (5879)	6/19/1998 11:58:00 AM
From: JEFF CHAPMAN	Respond to of 62569

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind. The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle, and the copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with huge sunglasses. At first the passengers do not react thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. However, after a few minutes the engines start revving and the airplane starts moving down the runway. The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance. Then the airplane starts accelerating rapidly and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical. Finally, when the airplane has less than 20 feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once, and at the very last moment the airplane lifts off and is airborne. Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot, "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we're gonna get killed!"