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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Paul Corbett who wrote (5913)	6/20/1998 7:00:00 PM
From: ToolManInc	Respond to of 62569

The following is the ACTUAL transcript of a radio conversation between a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95 Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course. Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP iN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER -MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP. Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

To: Paul Corbett who wrote (5913)	6/20/1998 7:05:00 PM
From: ToolManInc	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62569

One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her class. She told them that she would read a quote and the first student to correctly identify who said it would receive the rest of the day off. She started with: "This was England's finest hour." One girl instantly jumped up and said, " Winston Churchill." "Congratulations," said the teacher, "you may go home." The teacher then said: "Ask not what your country can do for you." Before she could finish this quote, another girl belts out, "John F. Kennedy". "Very good," said the teacher, "you may go." Irritated that he had missed two golden opportunities, one boy said, "I wish those girls would just shut up." Upon overhearing this comment, the teacher demanded to know who said it. The boy instantly rose to his feet and said, "Bill Clinton. I'll see you Monday.