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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Hardrocker who wrote (5993)	6/26/1998 12:30:00 PM
From: emidio	Respond to of 62578

>> Two men were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a >> burning freight vessel. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, >> one of the men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a >> Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of >> the castaways, one "did" come forth. This particular Genie, however, >> stated that she could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. >> Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the >> entire ocean into beer!" Immediately the Genie clapped her hands with a >> deafening crash, and the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever >> sampled by mortals. >> >> Simultaneously, the Genie vanished to her freedom. Only the gentle >> lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men >> considered their circumstances. The other man looked disgustedly at the >> one who's wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he >> spoke: "Nice GOING! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat."

To: Hardrocker who wrote (5993)	6/26/1998 12:37:00 PM
From: emidio	Respond to of 62578

A man who fancies himself a great hunter gets his gun and heads out hunting. Through the trees, he spots a bear. He lines up the bear in his sights and BANG. He rushes over to where the bear was, but it's not there. The man feels a tap on his shoulder. The bear is standing behind him. The man is scared. "Please don't kill me!" The bear says, "OK, I'll let you go if you give me head." The man looks at the bears sharp teeth, and long sharp claws, and proceeds to perform oral sex on the bear. The man goes home dejected, depressed, and humiliated. After a few days of feeling this way, the man decides he's going to kill the bear. So he gets a bigger gun, and heads out to the woods. It's not long before he spots the bear. He takes aim...BANG! The man rushes to where the bear was. But the bear is not there. The man feels a tap on his shoulder, and turns around. The bear is standing there. The man once again begs for his life. The bear says, "OK, but only if you let me scr*w you in the ass." The man looks at the bear's sharp teeth, and long sharp claws, and turns around and bends over. The bear proceeds to have anal sex with the man. The man goes home, in worse shape than ever. He can't live with himself after all this, and thinks "I'll kill that bear if it's the last thing I do." So the man gets the biggest gun he can find. He goes out into the woods. He seems the bear. BOOM!! The man rushes over to where the bear was. He feels a tap on his shoulder, and the man turns around. The bear says, "You didn't come here for the hunting, did you?"