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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Messbauer who wrote (6031)	6/30/1998 9:14:00 PM
From: david james	Respond to of 62551

Windows '98 source code. /* TOP SECRET Microsoft\251 Code Project: Chicago(tm) Projected release-date: Summer 1994 / #include "win31.h" #include "win95.h" #include "evenmore.h" #include "oldstuff.h" #include "billrulz.h" #define INSTALL = HARD char make_prog_look_big[1600000]; void main() { while(!CRASHED) { display_copyright_message(); display_bill_rules_message(); do_nothing_loop(); if (first_time_installation) { make_50_megabyte_swapfile(); do_nothing_loop(); totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system(); search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2(); hang_system(); } write_something(anything); display_copyright_message(); do_nothing_loop(); do_some_stuff(); if (still_not_crashed) { display_copyright_message(); do_nothing_loop(); basically_run_windows_3.1(); do_nothing_loop(); do_nothing_loop(); } } if (detect_cache()) disable_cache(); if (fast_cpu()) { set_wait_states(lots); set_mouse(speed, very_slow); set_mouse(action, jumpy); set_mouse(reaction, sometimes); } / printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); / / printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */ printf("Welcome to Windows 98"); if (system_ok()) crash(to_dos_prompt); else system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE); while(something) { sleep(5); get_user_input(); sleep(5); act_on_user_input(); sleep(5); } create_general_protection_fault(); }

To: John Messbauer who wrote (6031)	7/1/1998 11:52:00 AM
From: cgraham	Respond to of 62551

That's a great joke! Check out this one: A mexican man dreamt his whole life of going to America. One day, he saved up enough money to cross the border into Texas, where he headed for his first Basball game. He was so excited! He found his seat, enjoyed the game, and a few days later went home to Mexico. His friends asked him how he liked Americans. He said, "Oh, they are the most polite people in the world. I sit down at the basball game, get ready to watch the players come out onto the field, and everyone gets up and says,"Jose, can you see?" (Get it, our national anthem, Oh say can you se, by the dawn's early light!