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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: STRTYZ who wrote (6197)	7/18/1998 10:42:00 PM
From: george wood	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Three couples wanted to join a church. The first couple was an elderly couple, the second, a middle-aged couple, and the third, two twenty-one year olds. The all go to said church, and the pastor says that they must all abstain from sex for 30 days, then return with a progress report. Thirty days pass, and the elderly couple return. "We did just great, pastor. No problems." The pastor readily welcomed them into the church. The middle-agers came back and said "After the first two weeks passed, I wanted her REAL bad, but we kept this thing alive." "Welcome to our church," said the pastor. Then, the newlyweds came bye. "How did it go," the pastor asked. "Well, the first week, we did great. Then, she bent over to pick up a roll of paper towels, and I had to have her right then and there." The pastor said "Well, you're not welcome here. I can't let two sinners be allowed in a place as holy as a church." To which the young man replied, "That's ok. We're not allowed in the supermarket anymore, either."

To: STRTYZ who wrote (6197)	7/18/1998 11:31:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

THE 10 MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN A WOMAN'S LIFE 1. The Doctor because he says,"Take off your clothes" 2. The Dentist because he says,"Open Wide" 3. The hairdresser because he says,"Do you want it teased or blown?" 4. The Milkman because he says,"Do you want it in front or in back?" 5. The Interior Decorator because he says,"Once you have it all in, you'll love it." 6. The Banker because he says,"If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest" 7. The Police Officer because he says,"Spread 'em" 8. The Mailman because he always delivers his package. 9. The Pilot because he takes off fast and then slows down. 10. The Hunter because he always goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ What is the leading cause of death among lesbians? Furballs. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ How do you know you have a high sperm count? She has to chew before she can swallow. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ What's a lesbian? Just another woman trying to do a man's job. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ What's the difference between a circumcision and a crucifixion? In a crucifixion, you throw away the whole Jew. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ What's the difference between spit and swallow? Forty pounds of pressure on the back of her head. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Did you hear about the new all female delivery service? It's called UPMS - they deliver whenever the fuck they feel like it. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Priests should really be allowed to marry...Until then, they'll never know what hell is really like. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hey, if me and my wife get divorced, are we still legally brother and sister?