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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Lacelle who wrote (6201)	7/20/1998 12:45:00 PM
From: High Grader	Respond to of 62549

and along a similar line. Two fellows from Newfoundland bought a retriever from a dog breeder and went duck hunting. The first shot brought down a duck , which fell in the water. The dog promptly jumped out of the boat, ran cross the top of the water, picked up the duck, ran back to the boat hopped in a dropped the duck. The second duck, the third duck, the dog ran across the water and retrieved these too, hopping back into the boat each time and never even causing a ripple on the surface of the water. After a very successful morning of hunting with a pile of ducks in the boat the two Newfies went back into town returned the dog to the breeder, and demanded their money back. "Were not paying for a dog that can't even swim!" was their complaint.

To: John Lacelle who wrote (6201)	7/20/1998 8:44:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62549

An elderly man walks into a house of ill repute and tells the madam that he would like a young woman for the night. The madam gives him a puzzled look and asks, "Just how old are you, mister?" "Why," the old patron says, "I'm 98 years old today!" "Ninety-eight!" the madam exclaims. "Don't you realize you've had it?" "Oh," he says, "then how much do I owe you?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ An old Indian lined up all of his 10 little Indian sons and stood in front of them. He then asked, "Who push port-a-potty over cliff?" Nobody answered him. He then asked again, "Who push port-a-potty over cliff?" ...again nobody answered. The old Indian said, "I tell story of Georgie and Georgie father. Georgie chop down cherry tree. Georgie tell truth, Big Georgie no punish." So the Indian asked again, "Who push port-a-potty over cliff?" To which the littlest Indian replied, "I push port-a-potty over cliff." The old Indian then shakes and spanks him, for his punishment. When he is done, the little Indian asks, "Georgie tell truth, Georgie no get punish. I tell truth, I get punished. Why you punish, father?" The old Indian replied, "Big Georgie not in cherry tree when it got chopped down!!!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Sue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion, and they haven't seen each other since graduation. They begin to talk and bring each other up to date. The conversation covers their husbands, their children, homes, etc and finally gets around to their sex lives. Sue says "It's OK. We get it on every week or so but it's no big adventure, how's yours?" Sally replies "It's just great, ever since we got into S&M." Sue is aghast. "Really Sally, I never would have quessed that you would go for that." "Oh, sure," says Sally, "He snores while I masturbate." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Mom took little johnny to the doctor for lacerations on his penis. Doc. said, how did such a thing happen? Johnny said, "It's that damn neighbor girl, Suzy. Her braces are too darned sharp." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------