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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: broken_cookie who wrote (6222)	7/22/1998 11:00:00 AM
From: SJS	Respond to of 62549

Richard, Thanks. I appreciate the followup...

To: broken_cookie who wrote (6222)	7/22/1998 1:33:00 PM
From: SJS	Respond to of 62549

Downtown Atlantis - very punny. __________________________________ * DOWNTOWN ATLANTIS * It was April the fourty-first, being a quadruple leap year. I was driving in downtown Atlantis. My Barracuda was in the shop, so I was in a rented Stingray, and it was overheating. So I pulled into the Shell station. They said I'd blown a seal. I said, "Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it, okay pal?" While they were doing that I walked over to a place called the Oyster Bar... a real dive, but I knew the owner. He used to play for the Dolphins. I said "Hi Gil!" You have to yell; he's hard of herring. So, I bellied up to the sandbar. He poured me the usual: rusty snail, hold the grunion, shaken not stirred. I slipped him a fin. On porpoise. I was feeling good. I even dropped a dollar in the box for Jerry's Squids. Well, the place was crowded. We were packed in like sardines. They were all there to listen to the big band, sounds of Tommy Dorsal. Tommy was rocking the place with a very popular tuna. And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers, probably there to see the Bass player. One of those, this cute little yellowtail, was giving me the eye. So I figured this was my chance to get scrod. Boy could she drink. She drank like a...human. She drank a lot. I invited her over to my place for a little midnight bait. I said, "c'mon baby, it'll only take a few minnows." She shot me that same old line: "Not tonight. I got a haddock." And she wasn't kidding either, because in came the biggest, meanest, looking haddock I'd ever seen comming down the pike. He was covered with mussels. He came over to me, he said, "listen, shrimp. Don't you come trolling around here pal. What a crab. I mean, this guy was steamed. I could see the anchor in his eyes. I turned to him, I said, "Abolone. You're just being shellfish." I knew there was going to be trouble, and so did Gil, because he was already on the phone with the cods. The haddock hits me with a sucker punch; I catch him with a left hook. He eels over. It was a fluke. But there he was, lying on the deck as flat as a mackerel. Kelpless. I said, "forget the cods, Gil, this guy's going to need a sturgeon." Well the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend. She came over to me, she said, "hey big boy. You're really a game fish. What's your name?" I said, "Marlin." Well, from then on we had a whale of a time. I took her to dinner, I took her dancing, I bought her a boquet of flounders. Then I went home with her. And what did I get for my trouble? A case of the clams.