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To: indy who wrote (6234)7/22/1998 6:36:00 PM
From: Geoff Coates-Wynn  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 62551
 
My meager contribution, forwarded from a friend (hope you remember some of your chemistry class):

The Physics of Hell

Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical
Engineering, is known for asking questions such as, "why do
airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam
question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II
class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer
with proof.

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some
mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at
what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls
leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell,
it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions
that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if
you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell.
Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and
souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can
expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to
stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to
stay constant. Two options exist:

1. If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will
increase until all hell breaks loose.

2. If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell
freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa
Manyan during Freshman year, that "it will be a cold night in hell
before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still
have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2
cannot be true...

Thus, hell is exothermic.

The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.




To: indy who wrote (6234)7/22/1998 7:26:00 PM
From: SJS  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 62551
 
Been at it a long time....

It's fun to share these. Some are really good, original and funny-to-the-bone.