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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: JakeStraw who wrote (6304)	7/28/1998 8:52:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Great Site!!! Thanks, John

To: JakeStraw who wrote (6304)	7/28/1998 8:59:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

This couple had been married for 30 years, and on their anniversary they decided to go back to the same hotel where they had spent their blissful wedding night. Her husband was lying on the bed when she came out of the bathroom totally nude, just as she had 30 years before. She stood seductively before him and asked, "Tell me, darling, what were you thinking 30 years ago when I came out of the bathroom like this?" He replied, "I took one look at you and thought I'd like to screw your brains out and suck your boobs dry." "And what are you thinking now, baby?" she asked huskily. He said, "I'm thinking I did a pretty good job of it! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could think of, old or new, was discussed somewhere in the Bible and that the entirety of the human experience could be found there. After the service, he was approached by a woman who said, "Preacher, I don't believe the Bible mentions PMS." The preacher replied that he was sure it must be in there somewhere, and that he would look for it. The following week after service, the preacher called the woman aside and showed her a passage which read, "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I walked up to a really pretty girl at the bar the other night and said, "Hey, babe, can I buy you a drink?" She said, "Do you like sex?" I said, "Of course I like sex." She said, "Do you like to travel?" I said, "Yeah, I love to travel." She said, "Then fuck off." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in he mirror. He asks, "What are you doing?" She replies, "I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old." The husband retorts, "Well, what did he say about your 50 year old ass?" She replied, "Frankly dear, your name never came up." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ THE TOP 10 THINGS MEN SHOULD NOT SAY OUT LOUD IN VICTORIA'S SECRET 10. Does this come in children's sizes? 9. No thanks. Just sniffing. 8. I'll be in the dressing room going blind. 7. Mom will love this. 6. Oh the size won't matter. She's inflatable. 5. No need to wrap it up. I'll eat it here. 4. Will you model this for me?? 3. The Miracle What??? This is better than world peace!! 2. 45 bucks? You're just gonna end up NAKED anyway(s). And the number 1 thing that a man should NEVER, EVER say out loud in Victoria's Secret: 1. Oh, honey, you'll never squeeze your fat ass into that!