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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: dick williams who wrote (6366)	8/1/1998 3:17:00 PM
From: Jeff	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62558

to all the guys on this thread...........throw away your viagra......have i got a screen saver for you........ hotfiles.com go down to BIKINI SCREEN SAVER.....and down load......... absolutly beautiful photography........ regards Jeff

To: dick williams who wrote (6366)	8/1/1998 5:17:00 PM
From: Jack Colton	Respond to of 62558

There once was a gal named Lewinsky Who played on a flute like Stravinsky 'Twas "Hail to the Chief" On this flute made of beef That stole the front page from Kaczynski.

To: dick williams who wrote (6366)	8/1/1998 11:00:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

Female bashing Q. Why did God give men penises ? A. So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up. Q. What's the difference between a paycheck and your dick? A. You don't have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck. Q. How is a woman like a laxative? A. They both irritate the shit out of you. Q. What are the small bumps around a woman's nipples for? A. Its Braille for "suck here". Q. Why do men die before their wives? A. They want to. Q. Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women? A. He died laughing before he could tell anybody. LOL Q. What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pitbull? A. Lipstick. Q. Why do women have tits? A. So men will talk to them. Q. What's the difference between a woman and a coffin? A. You come in one and go in the other. Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex? A. They can't stand seeing a man have a good time. Q. What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild? A. Money. Q. Why did the army send so many women with pms to the Persian Gulf? A. They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days. Q. Why are hurricanes normally named after women? A. When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them. Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job? A. After 5 years your job will still suck. Q. What's the best thing about a blow job? A. Ten minutes of silence. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby's crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism. Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband. "A penny for your thoughts," she said. "It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $46.50." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ What's the difference between acne and a Catholic Priest? Acne doesn't come on a kid's face until around 13 or 14 years of age. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Advantages To Being A Small Busted Women . . . ..don't cause a traffic accident every time they bend over in public ..know that people can read the entire message on their t-shirts ..can sleep on their stomachs ..can come late to a theater and not disrupt an entire aisle ..can take aerobic class without running the risk of knocking themselves out ..always look younger ..know that everything more than a handful is wasted This must have being written by a women with a small bust. " A man would never make these type of statement".