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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: D LEE who wrote (6425)	8/13/1998 3:56:00 AM
From: MENSO	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

O.J. virus... it claims that it did not, could not, and would not delete two of your files. it then vows to find the virus that did it, but you never hear from it again.

To: D LEE who wrote (6425)	8/17/1998 9:57:00 AM
From: AJ Berger	Respond to of 62549

Aphorisms For Our Time > (aphorism: 1. A brief statement of a principle. > 2. A tersely phrased statement of an observation or truth) > > 1. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. > > 2. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before. > > 3. The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and > stupidity. > > 4. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on > society. > > 5. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. > > 6. Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live > with. > > 7. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check. > > 8. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you > left them to where you can't find them. > > 9. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn. > > 10. If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book. > (COROLLARY: If you are given a take-home test, you will forgetwhere you > live.) > > 11. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody > appreciates how difficult it was. > > 12. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a > warning to others. > > 13. Paul's Law: You can't fall off the floor. > > 14. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the > average man can see better than he can think. > > 15. Paranoids are people too; they have their own problems. It's easy to > criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too. > > 16. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and make you > feel happy to be on your way. > > 17. Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines. > > 18. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. > > 19. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. > > 20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. > > 21. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. > > 22. Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view. > > 23. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is > research. > >