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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Henry Volquardsen who wrote (6605)	8/24/1998 11:26:00 PM
From: Jay	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Two guys from Texas are driving through Alabama when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, "OW! Why'd you do that?" The trooper says, "You're in Alabama, son. When I pull you over, you'll have your license ready." Driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here." The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the trooper smacks him with the nightstick. The passenger says, "OW! What'd you do that for?" The trooper says, "Just making your wishes come true." The passenger says, "Huh?" The trooper says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say, 'I wish that pig would've tried that shit with me.'"

To: Henry Volquardsen who wrote (6605)	8/25/1998 3:12:00 PM
From: JakeStraw	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

The FDA is considering putting additional warnings on beer and alcohol such as: WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in morning. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember) WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.