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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Henry Volquardsen who wrote (6617)	8/25/1998 3:49:00 PM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.	Respond to of 62567

THE MOST VENOMOUS SNAKE IN THE WORLD NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake) LOCATION: Throughout the world DESCRIPTION: One-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head (other types come with extra layers of skin) Varying from pink to black. Fang-less with a highly venomous spit. (Spit can reach distances up to 2-3 feet) * Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood & sub-species. SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. Beware: It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen! HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places. ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men. WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED TOURNIQUET: Do not apply a tourniquet as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected.

To: Henry Volquardsen who wrote (6617)	8/25/1998 8:16:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62567

"Oh my," sighed the wife one morning, "I'm almost out of my mind....." Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented, "I'm not surprised. You've been giving me a piece of it every day for twenty years!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A little girl walked out of the bathroom to find her mother making a cake. She says, "Mommy, can I lick the bowl?" Her mother says, "Can't you just flush it like everyone else?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ On the evening of their wedding night, a young couple finally retired to their hotel room. After making her preparations, the bride came out of the bathroom to find the bridegroom on his knees in front of the bed. "What are you doing?" she asked. "I'm praying for guidance," answered the young man. "I'll take care of that," she replied. "You pray for endurance."