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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Buzz Lightbeer who wrote (24616)	8/26/1998 11:52:00 PM
From: Dayuhan	Respond to of 108807

Children also have the right to have fun, to play outside, to run with a pack of friends, climb trees and swim in streams, jump from high places, raise hell, and occasionally break things, within reasonable limits. Parents, especially urban parents, seem to forget this end of things, and I think a lot of miserable kids result. Shortly after descending from the mountains to take a real job, I had a bit of a priorities crisis. Work time was non-negotiable, but office time was running me to shit physically. But any time I took for formal workouts would have to be taken from the time spent with kids. The solution: now I either play soccer with the kids or take them paddling for an hour or two after work, which I dump early after starting early. I get my exercise, we stay close, they have fun, and they learn a trick or two from the old dog. We all sleep well. Sometimes the best way is the most obvious. I don't really disagree with anything in the bill of rights, but the whole outlook seems a shade harsh to me. Although considering what it seeks to balance, that's probably sensible. Steve

To: Buzz Lightbeer who wrote (24616)	8/29/1998 6:32:00 PM
From: Grainne	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

Welcome to the Feelings thread, Buzz! It is nice to see new people drop by. What is that stuff in your profile about mahogany sawdust, though? That thing you posted about child rearing is exactly representative of an authoritarian parenting style, which is not very good for children. They grow up fearful, stunted, and sneak around doing bad things whenever there is a good chance they will not be caught. The mean parenting practices described there will pretty much ensure that you will not have a good or trusting relationship with your children, either, which is based on respect, not brute force or ordering them about without explanation. How do people really expect children to grow up and think for themselves if they are not allowed to gradually understand the rationality of their parents' thought processes? <<Autocratic parenting-- also called Authoritarian/Traditional is characterized by many strict limits and no freedom. The parents belief is that they must control their child and their goals for the child are obedience, respect for authority, a "healthy fear", and responsibility to others; the parent makes the decisions.. The parent is inflexible, controlling, critical, harsh, loud, and strong; s/he uses rewards and punishment, threats and bribes, yelling and demanding as discipline tools. The parent's needs are considered more important than the child's and they impose their will upon the child, who is usually required to obey without question. Nonverbal body language includes hands on hips, scowling, disgust, sighing, pointing finger, shaking head, and derisive laughter. The parent-child relationship is fearful, distant, cold, resentful and rigid; the home atmosphere is tense, rigid, militaristic and oppressive. Effect of Parenting Style on Children: Autocratic--Children can be insecure, fearful, resentful; they obey out of fear of punishment, learn to subvert or maniupulate, are often out of control when parents aren't present, retaliate and strike out at times. Children can be disobedient, sneaky, strong-willed, rebellious, and lacking in self-discipline.>> ecst.csuchico.edu