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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (6663)	9/2/1998 11:50:00 AM
From: Henry Volquardsen	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

(o)(o) perfect breasts ( + )( + ) fake silicone breasts ()() high nipple breasts (@)(@) big nipple breasts (you know who you are) oo a cups { O }{ O } d cups (oYo) wonder bra breasts ( ^)( ^) cold breasts (o)(O) lopsided breasts (Q)(Q) pierced breasts (p)(p) breasts w/hanging tassels (:o)(o) bitten by a vampire breasts \o/\o/ Grandma's breasts ( - )( - ) flat against the shower door breasts < o < o electric shock breasts \|o\|\|o\| android breasts (/)(o) scratched breasts (ouch) (%)(o) extra nipple breasts ($)($) Jenny McCarthy's breasts (^o)(o) zit on your breast ( o Y o ) poses for playboy magazine breasts

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (6663)	9/2/1998 11:51:00 AM
From: Henry Volquardsen	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

The top 33 things you would NEVER hear a Redneck say ever, no matter how much they've had to drink, no matter how far from the South they've wandered and no matter how much the skunks are threatening... 1. "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex" 2. Duct tape won't fix that. 3. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael. 4. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken. 5. We don't keep firearms in this house. 6. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer? 7. You can't feed that to the dog. 8. I thought Graceland was tacky. 9. No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe. 10. Wrasslin's fake. 11. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace? 12. We're vegetarians. 13. Do you think my hair is too big? 14. I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy. 15. Honey, do these bonsai trees need watering? 16. Give me the small bag of pork rinds. 17. Deer heads detract from the decor. 18. Spitting is such a nasty habit. 19. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today. 20. Trim the fat off that steak. 21. The tires on that truck are too big. 22. I've got it all on a floppy disk. 23. Unsweetened tea tastes better. 24. Would you like your fish poached or broiled? 25. My fiancee, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's. 26. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams. 27. Checkmate. 28. She's too old to be wearing a bikini. 29. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen. 30. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side. 31. I believe you cooked those green beans too long. 32. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla. 33. Elvis who?

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (6663)	9/2/1998 11:56:00 AM
From: Henry Volquardsen	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62549

Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Bill told driver to go up to the farm house and explain to the owners what had happened. About 1 hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn. "What happened to you," asked Bill. Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the Cigar and his 19 year old daughter made mad passionate love to me. "My God, what did you tell them", asks Clinton. The driver replies, "I'm Bill Clinton's driver, and I just killed the pig".