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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: SJS who wrote (6695)9/3/1998 8:41:00 PM
From: John Messbauer  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 62549
 
Warining-Warning ---Goaner

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a
Pet that can do everything. The owner says "How about a dog?" The man
replies, "Come on, a dog?" The owner says, "How about a cat?" The man
replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do
everything!" The owner thinks for a minute, then says, "I've got it! A
centipede!" The man says, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede
doing everything, but okay... I'll try a centipede."

He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, "Clean the kitchen." Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and... it's immaculate. All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and put away; the counter-tops cleaned; the appliances sparkling; the floor waxed. He's absolutely amazed. He says to the centipede, "Go clean the living room." Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed; the furniture cleaned and dusted; the pillows on the sofa plumped; plants watered. The man thinks to himself, "This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything."

He says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me
a newspaper." The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later... no
centipede. 20 minutes later... no centipede. 30 minutes later... no
centipede. The man is wondering what's going on. The centipede should have
been back in a couple of minutes. 45 minutes later... still no centipede!
He can't imagine what could have happened. Did the centipede run away?
Did it get run over by a car? Where is that centipede?? He goes to the
front door, opens it ... and there's the centipede sitting right outside.
The man says, "Hey!!! I sent you down to the corner 45 minutes ago to get
me a newspaper. What's the story?!"

The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'! I'm just puttin' on my shoes!"