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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (6875)	9/15/1998 7:52:00 PM
From: Milk	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62547

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said, "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow." "Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be all right...I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch. But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked him, "How does that feel?" To which he replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like crazy." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- o Life is sexually transmitted. o Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids. o Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane. o It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end. o The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. o It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. o Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun. o The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. o If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. o Never knock on Death's door; ring the doorbell and run (he hates that). o Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself). o When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess? o If you're living on the edge, make sure you're wearing your seat belt. o The mind is like a parachute; it works much better when it's open. o Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive, anyway. o There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead. o An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. o A closed mouth gathers no feet. o Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. o It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere. o Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.