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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Tomato who wrote (6914)	9/17/1998 6:47:00 AM
From: Pat W.	Respond to of 62549

These guys were interviewing prospective pirates to work on their ship, when up the gangplank walks a real swashbuckler, wearing traditional pirate garb, and to top it off he has a wooden leg, a hook where his right hand used to be, and a patch over his right eye. The interviewer asks the pirate, "If you don't mind my asking, how did you end up with the wooden leg?" "It was chewed off by a viscous shark when I fell off my boat." "And how did you lose the hand?" asks the interviewer. "It was bitten off by the great killer whale while I was hunting near the sea of Japan." The interviewer then asked, "Well how did you lose your eye?" "I was sailing the Barbary coast when I looked up and a sea gull shit into my eye." "And the seagull shit made you go blind?" asked the astonished interviewer. "No," said the pirate, "it was my first day with the hook."

To: Tomato who wrote (6914)	9/17/1998 6:59:00 AM
From: Pat W.	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62549

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques, visualization, and association. It made a huge difference for me." "That's great! What was the name of the clinic?" Fred went blank and he thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?" "You mean a rose?" "Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife... "Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"