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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Richard Babusek who wrote (6967)	9/19/1998 7:46:00 PM
From: High Grader	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

A man was walking along the beach when he noticed a funny looking bottle sticking out of the sand...well of course he rubbed it and of course out popped a Genie who said he would grant the man one wish. The man deliberated for a while and finally said that he would love to go to Hawaii. "No problem, "says the genie. "Wait!" says the man. " I hate flying and boats scare me so I want to be able to drive to Hawaii." "Are you crazy?" says the Genie. "That is two thousand miles, there are underwater canyons miles deep. I will be busy for ages doing that. Isn't there something else I can do for you?" The man thinks for a while and says..."Well I would like to have a better understanding of the way my wife thinks..." "Two lanes or four?" asks the Genie.

To: Richard Babusek who wrote (6967)	9/21/1998 7:29:00 AM
From: Skeeter Bug	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

Life's Little Instructions >> >> On my hairdryer instructions: >> Do not use while sleeping. >> >> On a bag of Fritos: >> You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. >> >> On a bar of Dial soap, it says, >> Directions: Use like regular soap. >> >> I have a frozen dinner at home that says: >> Serving suggestion: Defrost. >> >> ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX: >> fits one head. >> >> ON TESCO'S TIRIMISU DESERT >> - Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.) >> >> ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING >> - Product will be hot after heating >> >> ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON >> - Do not Iron clothes on body >> >> ON BOOTS CHILDRENS COUGH MEDICINE >> - Do not drive car or operate machinery >> >> ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID) >> - Warning: may cause drowsiness >> >> ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE >> - Warning keep out of children >> >> ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS >> - For indoor or outdoor use only. >> >> ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR >> - Not to be used for the other use >> >> ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS >> - Warning: contains nuts >> >> ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS >> - Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. >> >> ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW >> - Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands >> >> ON A PACKET OF SUNMAID RAISINS >> - Why not try tossing over your favorite breakfast cereal?