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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Tomato who wrote (7173)	10/4/1998 8:39:00 AM
From: bucko	Respond to of 62549

& the classic example of ambivalence is watching your mother-in-law drive off a cliff in your brand-new Cadillac

To: Tomato who wrote (7173)	10/4/1998 2:07:00 PM
From: Capt	Respond to of 62549

The Late Sam Kinison On Parenting: "I got a real depressing letter from my folks about two weeks ago, because I haven't been taking real good care of my money. They said, 'Sam, we can't send you any more money. You're out of control, and you don't know what the fk you're doing with your cash. And... you're old enough to be on your own.' I said, 'Oh, okay'... and I called them. I said, 'Mom, get dad on the phone too, wake him up, I know it's late, but I want you both to hear this. You know, before I was your little son, before I was your baby, before I was your LOAN, I was a free spirit in the next stage of life. I walked in the cosmos, not imprisoned by a body of flesh, but free, in a pure body of light. There were no questions, only answers, no weaknesses, only strengths, I was light, I was truth, I was a spiritual being, I was a God... but you had to FK and bring my ass down HERE. I didn't ask to be born! I didn't call and say: 'Hey, please have me so I could work in a fkin' Winchell's someday!' Now you want me to pay my own way? ... FK YOU! PICK UP THE F**KIN' CHECK, MOM! PICK IT UP!'" -- At the Comedy Store, 1981.