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Pastimes : Religion on SI -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: wallstreeter who wrote (1301)	10/5/1998 1:52:00 PM
From: mark silvers	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1542

Wallstreeter That comment is filled with so much cultural bias, I am going to have to assume you dont even realize it. First of all, most Muslims are involved in monogamous marriages. Secondly, you are making a huge assumption about how and why otheres are capable of love and to what extent. Secondly, if we are to use your criteria, since the church doesnt really allow divorce, and reality is that people fall out of love, the church must not care or think that love is important within a marriage..... Since I doubt that you believe that to be true, perhaps you can extend the same latitude to others......... (FWIW, I'm not Muslim) Mark

To: wallstreeter who wrote (1301)	10/5/1998 2:13:00 PM
From: one_less	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1542

<<So what you are saying is that a marriage in the muslim religion there is no love because true love is something that is meant to be given to one person.>> You know I didn't say that. You drew that conclusion entirely on your own. <<well brees its very simple she is shareing a husband that has been soiled by the touch of 3 other women.>> I don't think I can support this soiled man presumption. I was a high school teacher for a number of years. I watched courting rituals and active relationships blossoming all over the place. There are all kinds of girls and I realize this is the stereotype but I can testify that virginal girls as well as women are very attracted to men who have many actively interested, and participating relationships. They don't look at them as soiled. Of course, each has the goal of captivating his complete attention. Conversely it is the opposite for men. We lose interest in a girl who is intimate with or has been with several people we know. I know its not popular to think about the differences between sexes but we are different in this way. I'm not advocating multiple marriages, or for men to have mistresses on the side. I'm just trying to say it isn't that simple. I have read accounts of men with multiple wives and seen documentaries on television (these weren't muslims). The women didn't report what your describing. In fact they seemed ready, willing and able to express admiration for their husband in these circumstances. I think our discussion is focused on Women in Islam and whether or not they have a considerate and fair position. We could debate that for days and probably walk away unchanged. Consider this though. I went to a couple of high school classrooms with a small Muslim panel, where they were studying comparative religions. One time we passed around a sign up sheet inviting them to meet outside of public school where everyone could relax and take their time getting aquainted. We had 75 girls sign up and only 5 boys (the boys participation was contingent on us bringing the basketball player and pizza). The discussion in the classroom was very negative in regards to the Woman's place in Islam. Women in America converting to Islam compared to the number of men in America accepting Islam must be about 20 to one (personal observation, not research). It is considered old fashioned to consider this perspective so most people would prefer to keep their thoughts on it hidden.