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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Scott Moody who wrote (7210)	10/7/1998 9:04:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

"Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer each. They observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn't drive. No further testing is planned." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Top Ten Signs Your Grandparents Are Still Sexually Active 10. Pair of edible Depends found on bedroom floor. 9. Lately, at night, they put their teeth in the same glass. 8. Grandpa grabs his crotch and complains loudly of "denture-burn." 7. Granny found cuffed to her walker. 6. Not only do you hear the bed squeaking, but also joints. 5. Grandma regularly looks at Grandpa's crotch and claps twice. 4. Your "Grandma" is Anna Nicole Smith. 3. You've just seen the photos in the "Beaver Hunt" section of the May issue of Hustler. 2. Grandmother starts baking Viagra-chip cookies. and the Number One Sign Your Gramdparents are still sexually active..... 1. Kraft-matic adjustable bed set for "doggy style. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Two men from Texas were sitting at a bar, when a young lady nearby began to choke on a hamburger. She gasped and gagged, and one Texan turned to the other and said, "That little gal is havin' a bad time. I'm a gonna go over there and help." He ran over to the young lady, held both sides of her head in his big, Texan hands, and asked, "Kin ya swaller?" Gasping, she shook her head no. He asked, "Kin ya breathe?" Still gasping, she again shook her head no. With that, he yanked up her skirt, pulled down her panties and licked her on the butt. The young woman was so shocked that she coughed up the piece of hamburger and began to breathe on her own. The Texan sat back down with his friend and said , "Ya know, it's sure amazin' how that hind-lick maneuver always works." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ During the Mexican/American war, an intense long standoff occured along the front. For days and days neither side made any advances. Finally, an American sergeant had a bright idea. He aimed his rifle towards the Mexican trenches and yelled "Hey Juan!" .......A soldier jumped up and replied "What?" The sergeant shot him dead. This continued for three days. A Mexican sergeant decided that two could play this game, and decided to try it out. He called out "Hey John!!" An American replied "John isn't here......is that you Juan?" The Mexican sergeant stood up, "Yeah?!".... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------