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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Tomato who wrote (7379)10/19/1998 1:49:00 PM
From: Henry Volquardsen  Respond to of 62547
 
no offense meant tomato. I've seen your posts and you seem like a decent sort (beefstake I assume). But the header says laughter and I think thats a pretty open topic. But as I am sure you are aware I took the general consensus on wavs and opened a wav thread. I only responded in this instant because I find Mr H's self appointment as thread monitor boorish. If you check his profile you will find several posts where he has set the rules for others but little offering of his own.



To: Tomato who wrote (7379)10/19/1998 2:37:00 PM
From: jbIII  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 62547
 
Hopefully this isn't a recent repeat,

The following were actually taken from recent classified adds in
newspapers:

AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

FREE PUPPIES...PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART DOG

2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES, 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15

TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH IT'S OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L,
AUTO,
EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800

COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

'83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK -- $2000

STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT -- $15

FREE PUPPIES: PART COCKER SPANIEL, PART SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG.

GERMAN SHEPHARD. 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
(answers to the name Emile)

FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BTH HOME.

FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50

NORDIC TRACK $300 - HARDLY USED - CALL CHUBBIE

BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING - "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"

SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS

FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG....LOOKS LIKE A RAT...BEEN OUT AWHILE...BETTER BE
REWARD.

HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"

GET A LITTLE JOHN:THE TRAVELING URINAL - HOLDS 2 BOTTLES OF BEER.

HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB

GEORGIA PEACHES - CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.

NICE PARACHUTE - NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE - SLIGHTLY STAINED

FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT.

AMERICAN FLAG - 60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED - $100

TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR.

NOTICE: TO PERSON OR PERSONS WHO TOOK THE LARGE PUMPKIN ON HIGHWAY 87 NEAR SOUTHRIDGE STORAGE. PLEASE RETURN THE PUMPKIN AND BE CHECKED. PUMPKIN MAY BE RADIOACTIVE. ALL OTHER PLANTS IN VINCINITY ARE DEAD.

EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRING -$175.

OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB - AND IT'S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY, MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER - $300.

LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT THAT GUILTY.

ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER

GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb.

GAS CLOUD CLEARS OUT TACO BELL.

BAR S SLICED BALOGNA - REGULAR OR TASTY - SAVE 30 CENTS ON 2

OPEN HOUSE - BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON - FREE COFFEE & DONUTS

KELLOGG'S POT TARTS - $1.99 box

FULLY COOKED BONELESS SMOKED MAN - $2.09 lb.




To: Tomato who wrote (7379)10/19/1998 4:56:00 PM
From: The Philosopher  Read Replies (3) | Respond to of 62547
 
Thanks. I thought my post was pretty gentle, simply suggesting he would find a better reception elsewhere. Guess HV is a bit sensitive. I notice in responding to you he criticizes my other posts. Hmmm--I think those who live in glass houses...his posts have virtually nothing to do with investing; he seems to view this board just as a place for trivia, movie quotes, and humor. At least I post on financial threads and view the humor threads as a diversion. Maybe that explains our different approaches.