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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: george wood who wrote (7417)	10/21/1998 9:31:00 AM
From: jayhawk969	Respond to of 62543

A nun catches a ride in a taxi. As the taxi is going along, the nun notices that the cab driver keeps looking at her in the rearview mirror. She says, "What is it my son?" The cabbie replies, "Oh, I'm too embarrassed to say, sister." She says,"Please, feel free to say anything. I've been a nun for many years and not too many things surprise me anymore." The cabbie says, "Well, I've always had this overwhelming fantasy to get a blow job from a nun. Oh, I'm so ashamed!" The nun says, "That's okay, I understand the need of the flesh. I will do it on two conditions: one, that you are Catholic and two, that you are not married." The cabbie says, "Yes on both conditions!" So they drive around the corner to a spot where the nun takes care of the cabbie. As they continue on their way, the nun notices the cabbie is crying. She says, "What's wrong, my son?" He says, "Sister, I lied. I'm jewish and I'm married!" She says, "That's okay. My name's Jim and I'm on my way to a costume party!"

To: george wood who wrote (7417)	10/21/1998 12:13:00 PM
From: Anthony Graham Poyser	Respond to of 62543

A husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes into the wife's business end. Naturally enough, she panics. The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he makes a mad dash to the doctor. The doctor, after examining her, says that the wasp is too far in to remove with forceps so he says to the husband that he will have to try and entice it out by putting honey on his penis and withdrawing as soon as he feels the wasp. And so the honey is smeared, but because of his wife's screaming and his frantic dash to the doctor and the general panic, he just can't rise to the occasion. So the doctor says he'll perform the deed if the husband and wife don't object. Naturally both agree for fear the wasp will do any damage, so the doctor quickly undresses, smears the honey on and instantly gets an erection, at which time he begins to plug the wife. Only he doesn't stop and withdraw but continues with vigour. The husband shouts, "What the hell's happening?" To which the doctor replies, "Change of plan. I'm going to drown the bastard!!! ___________________________________________________________________