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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Bryan Steffen who wrote (7439)	10/21/1998 3:42:00 PM
From: david james	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

What a concert tonight! It all started this afternoon. We rehearsed four hours with the guest conductor. The big finale' for tonight's show was Beethoven's 9th Symphony. We spent the entire last two hours of rehearsal this afternoon on the 9th...most of it on the last few pages. The bass section just couldn't please this guest conductor...he ragged on them andragged on them until they just hated him. Finally it was time to take a break (union rules) before the performance. The entire bass section adjourned to the bar across the street from the concert hall and got stinking drunk, bitching all the while about what a bastard the guest conductor was. After about the fifth round they started plotting their revenge. The second chair said he had a spare d string in his bag...the fourth suggesting poking holes in the last few pages of the score and interlacing it with the d string so the guest conductor couldn't turn the pages. The first chair gave the scheme his blessing so the third chair sneaked in to the hall and did the dirty work. The concert went surprising well, despite the schnockerd bass section and our trusty guest conductor launched into the grand finale' with confidence. Those boys in the back row nudged each other and winked as Beethoven's 9th symphony accelerated toward those fateful last few pages...and all at once, there it was...a big crescendo and, well, you can imagine the tension. ..it was the bottom of the 9th...the score was tied and the basses were loaded...