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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: btoll who wrote (7474)10/23/1998 12:44:00 PM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.  Respond to of 62549
 
Jim complained to his friends "My elbow really hurts.
I guess I should see a doctor." His friend offered,
"Don't do that!!! There's a computer at the drug store
that can diagnose anything, quicker and cheaper than a
doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the
computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you
can do about it. It only costs $10.00." Jim figured he
had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample
and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured
in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The computer
started making some noises and the various lights started
flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of
paper on which was printed:

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water,
avoid heavy labor, it will be better in two weeks.


Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new
technology was and how it would change medical science
forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap
water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his
wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the
concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the
machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
The machine again made the usual noise and printed out
the following analysis:

Your tap water is too hard, get a water softener.
Your dog has worms, give him vitamins.
Your daughter's on drugs, put her in rehab.
Your wife's pregnant, it's not yours---get a lawyer.
And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow
will never get better.