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To: SJS who wrote (7502)	10/26/1998 5:29:00 PM
From: Tomato	Respond to of 62549

> PROFESSIONALS >> >> An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value >> of nothing. >> >> An auditor is someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the >> wounded. >> >> A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining >> and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain) >> >> An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he >> predicted yesterday didn't happen today. >> >> A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the >> personality to be an accountant. >> >> An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that >> decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane. >> >> A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in >> away you don't understand. >> >> A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat >> which isn't there. (Charles R. Darwin) >> >> A topologist is a man who doesn't know the difference between a coffee >> cup and a doughnut. >> >> A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a >> "brief." >> (Franz Kafka) >> >> A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl >> enters the room. >> >> A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep. >> >> A schoolteacher is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked >> children. >> >> A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you >> the time. >> >> A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that >> you will look forward to the trip. >