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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: doby who wrote (7531)	10/28/1998 8:32:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62551

Bill Clinton is walking down the corridors of the White house when he bumps into Monica L. At first he does not recognise her, but then stops, looks at her and asks: Hmmmm! Have I come across your face before? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A woman walks into a drug store to buy tampons. She notices a group of tampons stacked on a table in the corner with a sign on them saying "5 boxes for a dollar." Well, the woman just could not believe this price so she asks the clerk if it was correct. He said "Oh yes, 5 for a dollar." She said "That can't be right !" The clerk says "Oh yes, it's right !! 5 boxes for a dollar, no strings attached." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ She Was So Blonde That - she thought TuPac Shakur was a jewish holiday - she sent me a fax with a stamp on it - she thought a quarterback was a refund - she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order - she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center - she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats - under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics" - she tried to drown a fish - she tripped over a cordless phone - she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate" - she put lipsick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind - she got stabbed in a shoot-out - she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK" - she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death - if you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back - they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade - she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept - at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here".. she put "Sagittarius" - she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store - it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes - if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless - she studied for a blood test - and failed - she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train - she sold the car for gas money - when she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends - when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved - she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill - when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead - when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home

To: doby who wrote (7531)	10/29/1998 11:53:00 PM
From: gypsy	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62551

A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll hang out with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll be your girlfriend for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll be your girlfriend for a whole year!". The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised lots of fun with a beautiful princess for a whole year and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for girls.... But a talking frog is pretty neat."