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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: doby who wrote (7609)	11/4/1998 8:37:00 PM
From: CoffeePot	Respond to of 62549

Anyone remember that guy on those infomercials selling courses on how to get rich quick on foreclosed real estate? Jurors begin announcing verdict when infomercial pitchman collapses 8.05 p.m. ET (105 GMT) November 4, 1998 ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) — Infomercial pitchman William J. McCorkle collapsed Wednesday after jurors returned guilty verdicts in an 85-count federal indictment charging him with deceiving his customers out of millions of dollars. McCorkle was taken to a hospital while the verdict was being read. McCorkle, 32, and his 30-year-old wife, Chantal, were charged with fraud, conspiracy, obtaining a credit card and a Social Security number under false pretenses and laundering several million dollars into offshore bank accounts. If convicted, each could be ordered to serve up to 19 1/2 years in prison and fined $250,000. McCorkle's companies sold videos and pamphlets that promised to teach customers how to make money on foreclosed real estate. Federal prosecutors said McCorkle misled customers and refused to issue refunds when they were dissatisfied. In his infomercials, the boyish-looking, get-rich-quick guru would talk enthusiastically about how he had gone from a poor child who was once evicted from his family's home to a real-estate millionaire. Prosecutors contend the couple made $28 million from their businesses. The couple has denied they misled people and said they refunded money to unhappy customers. They did not testify in their own behalf during the nine-week trial. Before deliberations began Tuesday, famed defense attorney F. Lee Bailey said McCorkle was a fair businessman who always took the high road in his dealings and issued 38,800 refunds totaling $4 million over the years — without the government making him do it. LMAO!!!!

To: doby who wrote (7609)	11/4/1998 8:45:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Sister Mary Katherine lived in a nunnery, a block away from Jack's liquor store. One day, in walked Sister Mary Katherine and she said, "Oh Jack, give me a pint o' the brandy." "Sister Mary Katherine," exclaimed Jack, "I could never do that! I've never sold alcohol to a nun in my life!" "Oh Jack," she responded, "it's only for the Mother Superior." Her voice dropped. "It helps her constipation, you know." So Jack sold her the brandy. Later that night Jack closed the store and walked home. As he passed the nunnery, who should he see but Sister Mary Katherine. And she was 'wasted'. She was singing and dancing, whirling around and flapping her arms like a bird, right there on the sidewalk. A crowd was gathering so Jack pushed through and exclaimed, "Sister Mary Katherine! For shame! You told me this was for the Mother Superior's constipation!" Sister Mary Katherine didn't miss a beat as she replied: "And so it is, me lad, so it is. When she sees me, she's going to shit!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Sister Mary Katherine lived in a nunnery, a block away from Jack's liquor store. One day, in walked Sister Mary Katherine and she said, "Oh Jack, give me a pint o' the brandy." "Sister Mary Katherine," exclaimed Jack, "I could never do that! I've never sold alcohol to a nun in my life!" "Oh Jack," she responded, "it's only for the Mother Superior." Her voice dropped. "It helps her constipation, you know." So Jack sold her the brandy. Later that night Jack closed the store and walked home. As he passed the nunnery, who should he see but Sister Mary Katherine. And she was 'wasted'. She was singing and dancing, whirling around and flapping her arms like a bird, right there on the sidewalk. A crowd was gathering so Jack pushed through and exclaimed, "Sister Mary Katherine! For shame! You told me this was for the Mother Superior's constipation!" Sister Mary Katherine didn't miss a beat as she replied: "And so it is, me lad, so it is. When she sees me, she's going to shit!"