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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (7625)	11/5/1998 10:43:00 AM
From: Anthony Graham Poyser	Respond to of 62549

> > A lawyer got married to a woman who had previously been married 12 > > times. On their wedding night, they settled into the bridal suite > > at their hotel and the bride said to her new groom, "Please, promise > > to be gentle. I am still a virgin." > > > > This puzzled the groom, since after 12 marriages, he thought that at > > least one of her husbands would have been able to perform. He asked > > his new bride to explain the phenomenon. She responded: > > > > "My first husband was a Sales Representative who spent the entire > > marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, how great it was going to > > be. > > My second husband was from Software Services; he was never quite > > sure how it was supposed to function, but he promised he would send me > > documentation. > > My third husband was from Field Services and repeatedly said that > > everything was diagnostically OK, but couldn't get the system up. > > My fourth husband was from Educational Services, and you know the > > old saying - 'Those who CAN, DO; those who can't, teach.' > > My fifth husband was from the Telemarketing Department. He knew he > > had the order, but he wasn't quite sure when he was going to be able > > to deliver. > > My sixth husband was an Engineer. He told me that he understood the > > basic process but needed three years to research, implement, and > > design a new state-of-the-art method. > > My seventh husband was from Finance and Administration. He knew > > how, but he just wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. > > My eighth husband was from Standards and Regulations, and he told > > me that he met the minimum standards but regulations weren't clear on > > how to do it. > > My ninth husband was a Marketing Manager. Even though he had the > > product. he just wasn't sure how to position it. > > My tenth husband was a psychiatrist. All he ever wanted to do was > > talk about it. > > My eleventh husband was a gynaecologist, and all he ever wanted to > > do was look at it. > > My twelfth husband was a stamp collector, and all he ever wanted to > > do was ... - God I miss him! > > > > So now I've married you, and I'm really excited." > > > > "Why is that," asked the lawyer. > > > > "Well, it should be obvious! You're a lawyer!! I just know > > I'm going to get screwed this time!" > >