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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Jacques Chitte who wrote (25877)11/13/1998 10:21:00 PM
From: Grainne  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 108807
 
<You are probably on the hot seat regarding telling Briana waht's waht in the
world of ethics/selfishness. Words are half the story - the other half is the example you
and those close to you provide.>

That's exactly my point, Alex. I thought the examples my husband and I provided of being honest, talking about our feelings, and especially of being thoughtful and kind and loving, and working hard to provide a reasonably nice life for all of us, would somehow create a child who grew up to be kind and ethical as well. Now I am beginning to wonder if that author who has just come out with a book arguing that parents have little impact on the way children develop may have a bit of a point.

I guess I will give it a few more years before I panic, but really I think we should have been more selfish. You know, gone on vacations together without her, gone out by ourselves in the evening. When she was little I was deeply influenced by the school of thought that immersion parenting was the best for the child, and that so much separateness would traumatize her and cause her to be anxious and insecure later. I am rethinking all that now!

Your parents' view of material stuff and the world of experience sounds pretty grounded. What's too bad is that parents cannot read their children's minds, and explain stuff like that, so that the kids don't grow up feeling bad and out of sorts and deprived.