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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Mr Bond who wrote (7680)	11/8/1998 8:57:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 62549

A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa what are you doing?" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again. The old man slowly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your Grandma's idea." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Here's some country western song titles..... Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In Bed Get Your Tongue Outa My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away? I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me? I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except For Mine I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonite I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now Mama Get A Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head) My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, and I Sure Do Miss Him She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ This guys owns a horse stud farm and gets a call from a friend. "I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse, I"m sending him over." Midget arrives and the owner asks if he wants a male or female horse. "A female horth," the midget replies. So the owner shows him one. "Nith looking horth, can I see her mouth?" So the owner picks up the midget and shows him the horse's mouth. "Nith mouth. Can I see her eyesth?" So the owner picks up the midget and hsows the eyes. "Ok, what about the earsth?" Now the owner is getting pissed, but he picks up the midget one more time and shows the ears. "Ok, finally, I'd like to see her twat." With that the owner picks up the midget and shoves his head up the horse's twat, then pulls him out. Shaking his head, the midget says, "perhapth I should rephrase. I'd like to see her run!"