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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Calvin Scott who wrote (7702)11/10/1998 6:07:00 PM
From: hcm1943  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 62549
 
Subject: Memorandum
>> >>
>> >> FROM THE MANAGEMENT:
>> >>
>> >> MEMORANDUM
>> >>
>> >> It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
>> >> throughout the company have been using foul language during the
>> >> course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints
>> >> received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type
>> >> of language will no longer be tolerated.
>> >>
>> >> We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to
>> >> accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers,
>> >> therefore, a list of preferred new phrases has been provided so that
>> >> proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective
>> >> manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.
>> >>
>> >> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
>> >>
>> >> PREFERRED: Perhaps I can work late
>> >> OLD: When the fuck do you expect me to do this?
>> >>
>> >> PREFERRED: I'm certain that is not feasible
>> >> OLD: No fucking way
>> >>
>> >> PREFERRED: Really?
>> >> OLD: You've got to be shitting me
>> >>
>> >> PREFERRED: Perhaps you should check with ...
>> >> OLD: Tell someone who gives a shit
>> >>
>> >> PREFERRED: Of course I'm concerned
>> >> OLD: Ask me if I give a shit
>> >>
>> >> PREFERRED: I wasn't involved in that project
>> >> OLD: Its not my fucking problem
>> >>
>> >> PREFERRED: That's interesting behavior
>> >> OLD: What the fuck?!?!
>> >>
>> >> PREFERRED: I'm not sure I can implement this
>> >> OLD: Fuck it, it won't work
>> >>
>> >> PREFERRED: I'll try to schedule that
>> >> OLD: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner
>> >>
>> >> PREFERRED: Are you sure this is a problem
>> >> OLD: Who the fuck cares
>> >>
>> >> PREFERRED: He's not familiar with the problem
>> >> OLD: He's got his head up his ass
>> >>
>> >> PREFERRED: Excuse me sir?
>> >> OLD: Eat shit and die motherfucker
>> >>
>> >> PREFERRED: So you weren't happy with it?
>> >> OLD: Kiss my ass
>> >>
>> >> PREFERRED: I'm a bit overloaded at this moment
>> >> OLD: Fuck it, I'm on salary
>> >>
>> >> PREFERRED: I don't think you understand
>> >> OLD: Shove it up your ass
>> >>
>> >> PREFERRED: I love a challenge
>> >> OLD: This job sucks
>> >>
>> >> PREFERRED: You want me to take care of that?
>> >> OLD: Who the hell died and made you boss
>> >>
>> >> PREFERRED: I see
>> >> OLD: Blow me
>> >>
>> >> PREFERRED: Yes, we really should discuss it
>> >> OLD: Another fucking meeting!!!!
>> >>
>> >> PREFERRED: I don't think this will be a problem
>> >> OLD: I really don't give a shit
>> >>
>> >> PREFERRED: He's somewhat insensitive
>> >> OLD: He's a fucking prick
>> >>
>> >> PREFERRED: She's an aggressive go getter
>> >> OLD: She's a ball busting bitch
>> >>
>> >> PREFERRED: I think you could use more training
>> >> OLD: You don't know what the fuck you're doing
>> >>