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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Calvin Scott who wrote (7702)	11/10/1998 6:07:00 PM
From: hcm1943	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

Subject: Memorandum >> >> >> >> FROM THE MANAGEMENT: >> >> >> >> MEMORANDUM >> >> >> >> It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals >> >> throughout the company have been using foul language during the >> >> course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints >> >> received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type >> >> of language will no longer be tolerated. >> >> >> >> We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to >> >> accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers, >> >> therefore, a list of preferred new phrases has been provided so that >> >> proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective >> >> manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees. >> >> >> >> --------------------------------------------------------------------- >> >> >> >> PREFERRED: Perhaps I can work late >> >> OLD: When the fuck do you expect me to do this? >> >> >> >> PREFERRED: I'm certain that is not feasible >> >> OLD: No fucking way >> >> >> >> PREFERRED: Really? >> >> OLD: You've got to be shitting me >> >> >> >> PREFERRED: Perhaps you should check with ... >> >> OLD: Tell someone who gives a shit >> >> >> >> PREFERRED: Of course I'm concerned >> >> OLD: Ask me if I give a shit >> >> >> >> PREFERRED: I wasn't involved in that project >> >> OLD: Its not my fucking problem >> >> >> >> PREFERRED: That's interesting behavior >> >> OLD: What the fuck?!?! >> >> >> >> PREFERRED: I'm not sure I can implement this >> >> OLD: Fuck it, it won't work >> >> >> >> PREFERRED: I'll try to schedule that >> >> OLD: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner >> >> >> >> PREFERRED: Are you sure this is a problem >> >> OLD: Who the fuck cares >> >> >> >> PREFERRED: He's not familiar with the problem >> >> OLD: He's got his head up his ass >> >> >> >> PREFERRED: Excuse me sir? >> >> OLD: Eat shit and die motherfucker >> >> >> >> PREFERRED: So you weren't happy with it? >> >> OLD: Kiss my ass >> >> >> >> PREFERRED: I'm a bit overloaded at this moment >> >> OLD: Fuck it, I'm on salary >> >> >> >> PREFERRED: I don't think you understand >> >> OLD: Shove it up your ass >> >> >> >> PREFERRED: I love a challenge >> >> OLD: This job sucks >> >> >> >> PREFERRED: You want me to take care of that? >> >> OLD: Who the hell died and made you boss >> >> >> >> PREFERRED: I see >> >> OLD: Blow me >> >> >> >> PREFERRED: Yes, we really should discuss it >> >> OLD: Another fucking meeting!!!! >> >> >> >> PREFERRED: I don't think this will be a problem >> >> OLD: I really don't give a shit >> >> >> >> PREFERRED: He's somewhat insensitive >> >> OLD: He's a fucking prick >> >> >> >> PREFERRED: She's an aggressive go getter >> >> OLD: She's a ball busting bitch >> >> >> >> PREFERRED: I think you could use more training >> >> OLD: You don't know what the fuck you're doing >> >>