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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Who, me? who wrote (884)	11/13/1998 8:11:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (6) \| Respond to of 2733

One morning, this gay man woke up from a wonderful dream, only to hear his partner in the bathroom making grunting and moaning sounds. The gay man got out of bed, walked down the hall and opened the bathroom door. The gay man looked at his partner, masturbating with a condom on. "What the hell are you doing???" The gay man asked his partner. The gay man's partner looked up at him sheepishly, "Oh... I was just packing your lunch!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on her butt and said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence. The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast and said, "You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra." This was beyond a silence response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. With a death grip in place, she said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your brother."

To: Who, me? who wrote (884)	11/18/1998 4:42:00 PM
From: treetopflier	Respond to of 2733

Just in time for the Vikings/Packers game this weekend Coach Holmgren, clearly upset about the Packers' play, decides to find out from Dennis Green what his secret is. So, Holmgren travels down to a Vikings practice and asks Green, "Coach, how is it that your team is so good? What's your secret?" Green responds by calling Cunningham over. "Randall, who's your father's brother's nephew?" He answers, "Why coach, that's easy. It's me." Green turns to Holmgren and says, "That's the secret Mike. A smart quarterback. You've got to have a smart quarterback." Thinking he's finally got all the tools he needs, Holmgren returns to Wisconsin and the Packers workout. He promptly calls over Brett Favre. "Favre! Who's your father's brother's nephew?" Brett looks perplexed, thinks a minute and says, "Coach, can I get back to you after practice on that one?" Holmgren (disgusted) says, "OK." During practice, Favre calls over Antonio Freeman. "Freeman, coach just asked me the weirdest question. Who's your father's brother's nephew?" Freeman: "Duh! That's easy. It's me!" After practice, Favre catches up with Holmgren: "Coach, I think I've got it. My father's brother's nephew is Antonio Freeman." Holmgren (angry): "No, No, NO! You idiot!! It's Randall Cunningham!!!"