To: Krowbar who wrote (25990 ) 11/22/1998 9:27:00 PM From: Grainne Read Replies (3) | Respond to of 108807
<The only real cure for teenage behavior is time.> Hmmm . . . were you trying to cheer me up or something, Del? My daughter has just turned fifteen, and so I suspect there are at least three serious years of the worst part of teenagehood right ahead of me. I would agree that she is pretty normal, and has a lot of wonderful parts of her when she has everything working together. I do think I am going to get that book, "Understanding Your Teenager" I think it is called, and read it. I could use some help. If anyone has better book suggestions, please let me know. I do support my husband establishing rules. I have always believed in natural consequences, and not spoiling children. The problem is that teenagers do so many things "wrong" that I think it is important to overlook some of the minor stuff, choose your battles wisely, and use praise for good behavior as well. My teenager herself believes she is screwing up majorly, and that tells me I need to be pretty gentle with her and love her a lot. I do get upset sometimes when life here gets out of balance, however. If my husband and daughter pick me up from work and my husband is again furious at her about undone housework he discovered an hour before, the rest of the evening is effectively ruined. Having jumped into the car tired but happy or at least content, I don't think that what she did or did not do in her room should dominate the entire family dynamic. That is not good for any of us. It feels really toxic, and I think the matter should be dropped once a fair consequence has been decided upon. Del, I was giving my poor aging husband a back rub today because he pulled a muscle, and he remarked that all the hair middle-aged guys get--on their backs, in their ears, everywhere--is so gross, and he didn't understand why that happens. I thought about it a minute, and guessed it might be a natural selection, evolutionary sort of thing. In other words, when the cavemen depended on their body fur to keep warm, the older men who didn't get as much exercise and had circulation that was slowing down, etc., would have survived at a higher rate the more fur they had. So that is why men who got hairier continued to survive and carried along the lovely tradition of furry nose hairs and such. Do you know anything about this theory scientifically? I was pretty pleased with myself.