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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: jbIII who wrote (7867)	11/20/1998 3:50:00 PM
From: Thomas M.	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62610

Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made to borrow the gun. But when the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin. Horrified Britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the U.S. scientists for suggestions. NASA's response? "Thaw the chicken."

To: jbIII who wrote (7867)	11/26/1998 9:32:00 AM
From: jbIII	Respond to of 62610

On a sad note, 60's great Flip Wilson passed away last night. tvparty.com ================================================================== A woman boards a train carrying a baby and takes her seat. A few minutes later a drunk comes staggering down the aisle and plops down next to her. He looks at her and then at the baby and says "Damm, that's one Ugly Baby" "Excuse me?" Again he says, "that's one Ugly Baby you got there lady." Well she's not going to stand for this and she starts hollering for the conductor. "Okay, Okay, what's going on here," says the conductor. She says,"this man insulted me. I paid good money to ride this train and I'm not going to sit here and be insulted by the likes of him." "Alright, I'll see what I can do about getting you an different seat and if you'll accompany me to the Dining Car, as a special consideration the railroad will give you a free dinner, and perhaps we can find a Banana for your Monkey." ==============================================================