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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Messbauer who wrote (7968)	12/2/1998 8:33:00 PM
From: ksuave	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

I don't know if these have been posted here or not, and they are compliments of a certain Forte, but in case they haven't, recent mergers: Xerox and Wurlitzer: They're going to make reproductive organs. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: New company will be called Fairwell Honeychild Polygram Records, Warner Brothers and Keebler: New company will be called Poly-Warner-Cracker W. R. Grace Co., Fuller Brush Co., Mary Kay Cosmetics and Hale Business Systems: New company will be called Hale Mary Fuller Grace 3M & goodyear: mmmGood John Deere & Abitibi-Price: Deere Abi Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil: Honey, I'm Home Denison Mines, Alliance, and Metal Mining: Mine, All Mine 3M, J.C. Penney, Canadian Opera Company: 3 Penney Opera Grey Poupon & Dockers Pants: Poupon Pants Knott's Berry Farm & National Organization of Women: Knott NOW! Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, Dakota Mining: Zip Audi Do-Da

To: John Messbauer who wrote (7968)	12/3/1998 8:15:00 PM
From: doby	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

Little Leroy went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His Mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the way he acts. She said, "Well Leroy, it isn't Christmas and we don't have money to just go out and buy you anything you want. So why don't you write a letter to Jesus and pray for one instead. After his temper tantrum his mother sent him to his room. He finally sat down to write a letter to Jesus. Dear Jesus, I've been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new bicycle. Your Friend, Signed: Leroy Now Leroy knew that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he was (brat). So, he ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try. Dear Jesus, I've been an OK boy this year and I want a new bicycle. Yours Truly, Signed: Leroy Well, Leroy know this wasn't totally honest so he tore it up and tried again. Dear Jesus, I've thought about being a good boy this year and can I have a new bicycle? Signed: Leroy. Well, Leroy looked deep down in his heart, which by the way was what his mother really wanted. He crumpled up the letter threw it in the trash and went running outside. He aimlessly wandered about; depressed because of the way he treated his parents and really considering his actions. He finally found himself in front of a church. Leroy went inside and knelt down, not really knowing what to do and looking around. He finally got up and began to walk out the door and looked around at all the statues. All of a sudden he grabbed a small Virgin Mary Statue and ran out of the door. He went home hid it under his bed and wrote this letter. Jesus, I've broken most of the Ten Commandments, shot spit wads in school, tore up my sister's Barbie doll and lots more. I'm desperate. I've got your mama and if you ever want to see her again give me a bike. Signed: You know who