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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: TigerPaw who wrote (8050)	12/11/1998 11:00:00 AM
From: T.R.	Respond to of 62549

I'm WAY behind on reading this thread but do enjoy the humor. I just received this little Telemarketer story. If it has already been printed I apologize for repeating. ================================================================ Try this next time a telemarketer comes your way..... > > ******************************************************************** > > ** > > One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of > you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a > phone call > from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as > irritating as,they were to me. The call was from AT&T and it went > something > like this: > (swallowing) > Me: Hello > AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T... > Me: Is this AT&T? > AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T... > Me: This is AT&T? > AT&T: Yes This is AT&T... > Me: Is this AT&T? > AT&T: YES! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron please? > Me: May I ask who is calling? > AT&T: This is AT&T. > Me: OK, hold on. > > At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking > that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my > salad. > Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still > waiting. > > Me: Hello? > AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron? > Me: May I ask who is calling please? > AT&T: Yes this is AT&T... > Me: This is AT&T? > AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Byron? > Me: Yes, is this AT&T? > AT&T: Yes sir. > Me: The phone company? > AT&T: Yes sir. > Me: I thought you said this was AT&T. > AT&T: Yes sir, we are a phone company. > Me: I already have a phone. > AT&T: We aren't selling phones today Mr. Byron. > Me: Well whatever it is, I'm really not interested but thanks > for calling. > When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can > express yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not > interested", > > but this lady was persistent. > > AT&T: Mr. Byron we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 > hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. > > Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a > Minute but she at no time used the word rate. I could clearly see > that > it was > Time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering. > > Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day? > AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes > sir that's right! 24 hours a day! > > Me: 7 days a week? > AT&T: That's right. > Me: 365 days a year? > AT&T: Yes sir. > Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing! > AT&T: We think so! > Me: That's quite a sum of money! > AT&T: Yes sir, it's amazing how it adds up. > Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big > One at the end of the year for the full $52,560, and if you send an > annual check, > can I get a cash advance? > > AT&T: Excuse me? > Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute. > AT&T: What are you talking about? > Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 > days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1,008 per > week and > $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be > making > payment. > > AT&T: Oh no sir I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 > cents a minute. > Me: Wait a minute here!!! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a > minute. Are you sure this is AT&T? > > AT&T: Well, yes this is AT&T sir but...... > > Me: But nothing, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give > Me 10 cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute? Is this > some > > kindof subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like > this > > in the Enquirer you know. Don't use your alien brainwashing > techniques > on > me. > AT&T: No sir we are offering 10 cents a minute for.... > Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please! > AT&T: Sir I don't think that is necessary. > Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later? > AT&T: What? > Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor! > AT&T: Yes Mr. Byron. Please hold. > So now AT&T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin > to eat while I'm waiting for a supervisor. After a wait of a few > minutes > and while I have a mouth full of food > > Supervisor: Mr. Byron? > Me: Yeth? > Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 > cents a minute program. > Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth? > Supervisor: Yes sir, it sure is. > I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do > to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a > snort. > Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me > So that I could sign up for the plan. > > Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you > back to the person who was helping you. > Me: Thank you. > > I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I > needed to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated > but polite voice at the other end of the phone. > > AT&T: Hello Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in > signing > up for our plan? > > Me: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never > have enough friends and I'm an only child and I'd really like to > have a little brother... > > AT&T: (click)