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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Miles Rhyne Hoffman, CFA who wrote (8124)	12/17/1998 9:42:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 62552

What do you do if your washing machine breaks down? Slap the bitch. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy." "Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q. How can you tell the Irish guy in the hospital? A. He's the one blowing the foam off of his bedpan. Q. What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horses ass? A Mechanic. Q. What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A Speech Impediment. Q. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast? A. They're hiring. Q. What do toilets, clitoris, and an anniversary have in common? A. Men miss them all. Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek? A. Because they're not going to work in the future either. Q. Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? A. He walks around saying "Yo" Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar. *------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Doctor, the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore. "Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do." The next day the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Ok, you may put your clothes back on." The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either."