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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: X Y Zebra who wrote (8141)	12/19/1998 1:06:00 PM
From: Thomas Scharf	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62550

NEWS FLASH FROM THE UNRELIABLE, BIASED, RUMOR MONGERING, PUBLISHED ERRATICALLY, GOOSE REPORT: All Republican House members that have ever had an affair will be resigning at the completion of this congressional session. Bob Livingston, Speaker-elect of the House, resigned after the revelations of several extra marital affairs was revealed. Showing their loyalty to the Republican Party, they expressed commitment to the cause of Morality in America and the impeachment and or removal of President Clinton and decided to resign. The 12 Republican congressman who have not had extra-martial affairs will meet to appoint an new House speaker as early as next week. House Democratic leader, Richard Gepahart, stated the Democrats will not follow the Republican lead in having all members that have had affairs resign. "Everyone knows that the Democrats are morally bankrupt. Why should we resign?" Last week The Goose Report released scientific data of DNA samples from several House Republican showing a genetic link to lemmings. "This proves our research," stated George Sexophonic, head of the Larry Flint Science for Public Truth Corporation. John Doolittle, Republican from California, will present the case of impeachment before the Senate next year. "Thank God we got rid of all those adulterers," Doolittle stated. "They did not belong with the rest of us in the Christian Coalition anyway."